My current work explores the dichotomy between chaos and control in the physical process of painting. I begin with a specific reference, but once the image is initially laid in, I cease looking at it. Instead, I engage in dialogue with the painting, letting it lead me to unknown places. Objects begin to change shape; planes become distorted, crashing into one another, melting. I often paint upside down in order to view the subject more as an abstract composition, enabling me to focus on color and movement than on representation. I throw myself into the work (using brushes or my fingers) with abandon, covering up or breaking apart surfaces I have just created. In becoming willing to destroy my work, I allow for something entirely new to emerge. These processes occur multiple times during the creation of a piece, removing the painting even further from reality. My use of thick, impasto paint, gouges, intense color, and expressive brushwork all contribute to obscuring the specific features of my subject while revealing (perhaps previously hidden) emotional qualities. When I sense the painting authentically reflects an element of my own vulnerabilities, it is complete .